I had this dream during a nap on Saturday afternoon February 27, the morning of the tsunami warning. I had previously been awake several nights in a row working on a grant application that needed to be fedex'd the Friday morning prior. On Saturday morning, at 5am, the first phone call came in, then another, then the warning alarms started going off. Going on-line before the first alarm bell, NOAA showed lower Puna as target number one. After the first alarm, my pattern of "help others no matter what the cost to you" kicked in louder than the noise of my exhausted physical, mental and emotional states (which were all screaming for me to do nothing). After ridiculous attempts to be here and there around my neighborhood, I returned home and into bed at 2pm.
Two or three hours later I awoke and remembered snippets of some dreams, this one included.
With this snippet, I feel that my infinite self was reinforcing for me how this "help no matter what the cost" pattern can be really damaging to my drive, my body, my entire being. This same pattern expresses a lack of value of my self by stealing all my cash -- depleting my resources and energy.
In real life, I immediately refocused all my love and attention to my self until I was fully recovered, which wasn't until Monday morning. This meant ignoring phone calls, sleeping, and surrendering into being cared for by my partner, who had *not* ignored his exhaustion, and recovered really well by Saturday afternoon.
Grateful for the lesson. 'Hope it sticks.
